Looking at model portfolios right now, and one of them is named Kalyane Tea. That sounds like something my mother would find at Whole Foods and try to make me drink. Mom: I found this new drink at Whole Foods, it’s called Kalyane Tea! Me: Mmhmm. Mom: It has 1,306% of your daily recommended value of Q vitamins! Me: Mmhmm. Mom: It’ll make your fingernails grow purple! Me: Mmhmm. Mom:...
Make that tutu an XXL, mmkay? →
This ballet company only employs dancers that are over 240 lbs. They are going to need some buff-ass pas de deux partners, that’s all I’m sayin’.
You know Rickrolling has officially jumped the...
This image is uploaded to your company website as a Friday Funny.
NY Post exceeds journalistic standards once again
limerick: The Post says, “There He Ho’s Again” Client 9 went to more than one den Of wide open thighs And I’d not be surprised If he’d also been sleeping with men. I love that the Post is using Ludacris lyrics as their headlines. Reach up in the sky to the ho-zone layer!
The late-night wisdom of Richard Blakeley
What I woke up to this morning: Text 1, 12:02 am: thanks for inviting me out, that was great but that woman would slash might do me, Im pretty sure she totally wanted me. and I mean she wanted to do me, Text 2, 12:02 am: like you…have the sex and stuff. you know like you and Adam do all the time, where you get all naked and do it…the sex with the peen and the vadge Text 3, 12:03 am:...
Paging tech support
Boss: I can't see the bottom of the Excel document, how do you see the bottom?
Me: (moves document up to top of screen)
Boss: Wait, what did you do?
Me: I moved the document to the top of the screen.
Boss: Oh! You can do that?
Dare we hope? The paparazzi are over Britney Spears, a top photo agency head...– From Rush and Molloy today. Anyone else really creeped out about how South Park 100% called this in their Britney episode last week?
The Logged Minutes Muxtape →
Muxtape is this super cool new website/web app that allows you to upload a mix so that you can play it anywhere you want (that has internet access). Aside from hijacking party playlists whenever the music sucks, muxtape is a great way to share your favorite new bands/tracks with whoever will listen to them (you can add and subtract tracks at will). I’ve shown you mine, now you have to show...
She was my first robot girlfriend. Alice acts really human in the way she talks....– This dude is married to a robot
So, like the rest of everyone I know, I watched the Hills premiere last night. I just have a few things that I would like to note: - WTF is up with the whole “Paris changes everything” shtick they’re trying to pull off? The girls were gone for like, a long weekend. That is some pretty bad grasping for significant plotlines. Just sayin’. -I’m not a fan of Lauren and...
Spencer's advice column! →
This is totally genius. Spencer is such a waste of space that he makes my teeth hurt, but I can’t deny that this is seriously entertaining. A few highlights: Spencer on Alcohol Consumption: “I personally would never want to be with a girl who gets so wasted that she’s pissing in bed. It’s time to sign up for AA, my dear, because drunks are not sexy.” Spencer on...
I am going to be seriously hungover tomorrow... →
…if I actually play this. It has the potential to be worse than the State Of The Union Drinking Game.
Advertainment goes to a whole new level
Having worked in advertising for almost 5 years (GAH), I can tell you first hand that the trades and people in The Industry (tm) have been crowing about how advertising is going to have to be content driven in order for people to pay attention in our DVR world. Product placement has been happening since the 90s, but most product placements are heinously heavy handed and blatant, which only...
OMG I totally just remembered that The Hills is premiering tonight. SWEET. I just want to know how many episodes it’ll be until Justin Bobby comes back on the scene.
Is it bad that I don't feel sorry for this guy? →
Call me a bad person, but I find it very difficult to drum up any sympathy for this guy. Sure, the guys who beat him up were probably thugs, but the whole paparazzi culture is nauseating. I may have taken some photos of celebrities in my time, but I always asked permission first, and I certainly didn’t camp out in front of their houses, stand in front of their cars, scare their kids, or...
Gayssip Girl →
I love how everyone thinks that Eric Van Der Woodsen is gay. The thing is, he was totally scoping on Jenny in the beginning of the series (does anyone remember the look on his face in the pilot when they met in Bendel’s? I mean, hel-LO, unless he was ogling her shoes, that is not the type of attention a gay gives a girl.) I think Chuck would be a better gay, but given the whole date-rapey...
Name that tune
I wasn’t allowed to watch Married With Children when I was younger, because my mother thought it was declasse and lowbrow (she wasn’t necessarily wrong). However, there was one episode that I ended up watching somehow, and it chronicled Ed Bundy’s desperate search for the 45 (vinyl!) that would complete his music collection. He didn’t know the name of the song, and he kept...
I got sick from a video game. I’m a pansy.– Adam, after getting seriously carsick from Lego Star Wars podracing
Father and Son, leaving a restaurant on the UWS
5-year-old: Yes, Daddy?
Father: You said this place was ZAGAT rated?!
This kid is totally in Elijah Pollack's playgroup.
Verizon recovers dead wife's voice →
This is both sad and heartwarming at the same time. Note to everyone: record your loved ones’ voices and keep them somewhere that big corporate telecom operators can’t delete them.
Fashion Solitaire →
My friend Daisy just designed her first game, and it got 4 out of 5 stars on GameZebo. Awesome!
Egg laying rabbits
When you think about it, the Easter Bunny/egg thing is totally bizarre. A rabbit that hands out colored eggs? WTF? It turns out that we have dumb people from the 14th and 15th centuries to thank for this legend. Hares bring up their young in ‘forms’. These forms are hollows in the ground, usually located in fields and meadows. Plovers (a kind of bird) have been known to take over...
That’s “geigh”, the cool new way to spell “gay” on the internet. Or at least that’s what I told Adam last night, and he totally didn’t believe me. But then I sent him this link, and he couldn’t refute me. Although technically, Gawker is calling that dude “unimpressive, lame”, and not homosexual. Which, since he’s a prissy (and...
Toes in the water
So, here it is. The Logged Minutes Tumblr. I like that I can only post a few words and it’s considered a post. More to come later. Or latr. Ha, ha.