July 2008
76 posts
Coworker: Do you have any friends on Match?
Me: Men or Women?
Coworker: Women.
Me: Only one, and she's in Colorado.
Coworker: Hmm. Well, I'm on Match, and my profile seems to be a failure.
Me: What do you mean?
Coworker: No one's writing me back!
Me: Really?
Coworker: Yeah, and I even have had PR people look at my profile, and they've said it's awesome!
Me: You had PR people look at your profile??
Coworker: Yeah, well... it hasn't really helped.
Tumblcation
I decided I needed a vacation from Tumblr, so I left my dashboard unread for the past 4 days. I have since caught up on everything that has been posted since last Friday, and have since learned the following:
- Some girl’s pelvic exam got interrupted by an earthquake
- Bennigans is filing for bankruptcy
- Julia Allison got bangs.
For The Love of Scully
This morning, my Dad called. I picked it up, and before I could even get a greeting out, he busted in with “WELLLL?? Were you first in line to see the new X Files Movie??”
When I was in high school, I was a supreme X-Files fangirl. I mean, I saw every single episode, created my very own fan site (which has since been deleted by AOL, unfortunately) and, no joke, carried around a Scully...
On The Olive Garden
I went to The Olive Garden for the first time today. My thoughts:
Breadsticks are tasty.
Minestrone soup is tasty.
Pre-dressed salad is soggy and gross.
Cranky waitresses are charming if they’re 75 and working in an old-school diner or deli, not if they’re 22, fake goth, and working in a crappy chain restaurant.
$3.00 for a seltzer is fucking HIGHWAY ROBBERY.
Verdict: Fuck The...
Morning Email From My Father
My father sent me the following email this morning:
What you see is a guy dressed like Batman. I wouldn’t want to be that man. He needs to get a life. I’d hate to be his wife. Realistically…he’s only a fat man
Gotta love Dad for hating on the fanboys in limerick form.
“Becky Lee, 39, a Manhattan photographer, declined when a friend asked her — and...”
– Crazy bitches who will be divorced within 5 years.
“If anybody reading this is a doctor, I have two questions for you:
1: My blood...”
– Kat Dennings, on her blog
On younger women and older men
Dear Peter,
Women in their early-to-mid 20s like dating men who are older because they have grown up a little— not because they are gold digging whores who are willing to “trade their bodies” for material comfort. You don’t want to date 18 year olds for the same reasons we don’t want to date men in their early 20s: they are utterly immature and do things like write...
“(Heath Ledger’s) performance… has been widely tipped by critics, as...”
– Someone might want to tell the Telegraph that although Michael Caine may be getting older, he’s certainly not dead yet.
My office was nominated as one of the Crain’s Best Places To Work in New York City! Yay, Farm!
WatchAAHHH SEASON 4!!
Doe a deer, a six legged deer. →
This is a pug puppy playing with/chewing on a fake... →
22
jgh:
Tell me, what advice would you give your 22-year-old self?
1.) Do not sink yourself into credit card debt. It is a hole that is really, really hard to climb out of. I made that mistake, and there is a reason my credit card is sitting in a chunk of ice in the freezer so I will not be tempted to use it (no joke). Get a debit card. It’s the best budget there is.
2.) If you’re...
Mad (Wo)Men and Dinosaurs
I spent the entire day on the couch yesterday, watching the Mad Men Season 1 marathon. I’m a little late to the party, obviously, but wow, is that show awesome. The subtle excellence of the social commentary is what really makes the show so great; the smoking/drinking pregnant women, the drunk driving, the “reckless” parenting, the homophobia, the racism, and of course, the...
Round Eyes
So apparently, Chinese director Zhang Yimou has chosen China’s 10 Olympic Sweethearts. They’re are all quite lovely, but I did notice that there isn’t a single girl among them who doesn’t have round (“Western”) eyes.
I’ve heard before that having round eyes is considered to be a great stroke of genetic luck in certain Asian cultures (In a comment on this...
A friend of mine sent me this MP3 of my a cappella...
“I lost control of my bowels…and my mind when I found Bobby Brown in a hot...”
– Whitney Houston in a Geico Ad
"Want it from behind while you play Super Mario... →
“The third decade of June is the mysterious period: it is not dark at all during...”
– I love computer translations of foreign websites.
Bandwagonish Two Cents
I don’t have that much to say concerning this whole Jessica Roy kerfuffle that hasn’t already been said more articulately, humorously, and succinctly. However, I do want to state for the record that I find it surprising (and perhaps a bit disingenuous) that, given that Ms. Roy is a regular (if not rabid) consumer of the pieces written by and about the people at that party, she really...
Recession schmecession
My 401(k) made a whopping $54.33 in gains this quarter. I certainly feel financially secure!
Seattle?
Adam and I are going to Seattle at the end of August, and I am on the hunt for things to do, particularly when it comes to eating awesome food and drinking wine. Any Seattle experts out there with some good advice?
Thank you, Nick, for making my afternoon.
After not going to the dentist for 2 and 1/2 years (eesh), I emerged pretty much unscathed from my visit this morning, with only “um, your old silver fillings are leaking into your teeth and you should probably get those fixed”.
Hooray for my Sonicare toothbrush and Adam, who makes me floss.
Booze-A-Bye Baby
This article about NYC drinking culture is entertaining, but also very revealing.
“I think it’s normal for people our age, out of college, to learn how to function with a hangover,” Ms. Brady (“Boozeabeth”) said. “It’s like when people have a baby, and they say they haven’t slept in weeks. C’est la vie.”
So, to simplify:
Hangover : 20- Somethings in New York :: New...
“I am a seducer, I’m a salesman… I’m trying to get people to buy my...”
– Steve Guttenberg is batshit crazy.
“There’s a lot of sheep lovers, say, coming out of the closet I think, um,...”
– Sheep Beauty Pageant held in UK
Doo bow doo wap bah!
This article in Slate about collegiate a cappella made me yearn for my vocally percussing, finger snapping days of yore. As the former president of my collegiate a cappella group, I know all too well the joys and the drama that come with singing with 13 (often dramatic) people for a minimum of 6 hours a week. I thought that Nina Shen Rastogi got it particularly right with this excerpt:
Once I...
Heidi Montag's new collection. Three words:... →
“Shooting Old Yeller represents Travis’s metaphorical entrance into...”
– The 26 Most Disturbing Kid Movies Ever: Family films that will scar your children for life.
Either/Or
I was talking with another friend who also works in advertising, and we were discussing how getting an MBA seems to kill any originality/creativity you might have possessed before you went to business school. (We determined this based upon all of the horrendous, MBA-holding clients that we have dealt with in the 5 years we have worked in the ad industry). This lead to a discussion of the things...
Self-awareness
Say cheese
Rumplo is my newest addiction. After buying Sandwich Dinosaur, I gave in and bought this one:
I loved this shirt so much that I even paid $15.00 for it to be shipped from Japan. I’m such a nerd.
Focus groups: not terribly stimulating.
thebeatenpath:
Been listening to old ladies talk about their digestive problems for four hours.
I would make a pun about “stimulating” and digestive problems, but I’ll refrain. It’s too early in the week for poo jokes.
