February 2009
63 posts
moderation:
Emaline (live), by Ben Folds…(I...
January 2009
105 posts
I have very strong feelings about piano bars.
charitini:
Truth: I briefly moonlighted as a singing waitress in a West Village piano bar (Marie’s Crisis) while I was lawyering. I was Audrey to a thousand faceless Seymours. If you buy me a drink, I’ll sing you a song…
Obviously, there is some karaoke in our future. Or just loud singing in public to whatever song is playing at the bar, because that’s usually what I do about 4 drinks...
I have very strong feelings about piano bars.
justsayjolie:
Nicholas: The L train in the morning = as fun as a packed piano bar. me: Honestly? I’d choose the L train in the morning over a packed piano bar any day. Hell, I’d probably choose the L train in the morning over an *empty* piano bar. me: I hate them in the same way I hate a cappella. I needn’t ask if this is true for you as well.
Jolie… I just… I hate...
It's Not Just To Get Carney Drunk.
charitini:
So - when I launched Charitini I had all these big plans for blowing it up into this huge charity site, and maybe that can still happen, but for now it’s just a little idea hooked on getting a few people to donate a few dollars in honor of a friend’s birthday. Even so, it doesn’t have to be a big site to make a big difference. I just got this email from my friend Jules Shell, the...
Twittertrouble? Really?
foureleven:
I’m ashamed to admit this because I was one of the few who didn’t like That 70’s Show or Punk’d, but Ashton Kutcher’s twitter is ridiculously entertaining.
Conversely, Demi Moore should not be allowed to have a Twitter.
Violation #1: She says “baby” waaaaaaay too often:
baby keep it together there should only be another 5 months of this.
calm and gentle baby you can...
Things I don't like
Sanctimony
The shamwow is everywhere. →
foureleven:
Dennis: apparently a lot of my friends are just discovering stuff white people like Dennis: or suffering Memento-like memory loss Dennis: hello, my friends live under rocks Dennis: but really lovely rocks Me: well the post about “ugly sweater parties” was amazingly accurate Dennis: my cousin had one of those last month
I totally went to one of those. In Williamsburg....
Landlording Lessons
Lesson #1:
- When your tenant writes you to tell you that the acrid, caustic stench in her apartment is emanating from the brand new radiator you installed in her bedroom, do not write a response like this:
I just spoke with the plumber - the smell is from the paint/coating on the radiator reacting to the heat. All new radiators go through this ‘breaking in’ process – I was told it should last...
antikris:
Her: He’s totally going to quit the internet AntiKris: He’s going to go all Lodwick
And by that, do you mean show up at parties and dance without a shirt on?
…at least that’d be more clothes than he’s used to wearing
FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Hmph.
katiebakes:
Darren Rovell has the best job EVER. I’m so jealous of him. Usually he covers sports news for CNBC but since there isn’t much going on right now he has been conducting an Infomercial Bracket.
The ShamWow just won the tournament. (Sorry Snuggie.) AND they tested it on the air and it WORKED!
Like Vince would sell something that doesn’t work. Did they test the Slap Chop?! It...
Wonderment
How come I have never heard of Vince, salesman extraordinaire, from Slap Chop and The Shamwow? (Note to self: next band will be called Slapchop and the Shamwows)
For those of you who are reluctant to click on the links above, I present to you these amazing quotes:
“It’s made in Germany, you know the Germans always make good stuff”
“Stop having a boring tuna, stop having...
I am drinking bacon-infused Bourbon with maple syrup and eating tater tots. I didn’t know that I could be this happy.
listicles:
We try not to provide our readership any tangible value outside of where to buy Crystal Pepsi (it’s Mexico, you’re welcome).
Thanks for the tip— if I ever go to Mexico, I’ll make sure to relive 7th grade by drinking nothing but Crystal Pepsi and listening to far too many Broadway musical soundtracks.
Dear Listicles
You know what would be a really, really interesting listicle? Letting everyone know which jewelry stores in the garment/wholesale district actually let you buy something without a tax ID. I found one store over the course of 45 minutes. There has to be more. Help the earringless cheapskates among us.
Loving those who are servicey,
Kate
Gossip Girl Spinoff To Center Around Pre-Knocked... →
(via nickmcglynn)
Well, at least they’ll be able to recycle the costumes. And all of the Serena-Dan dialogue. HAR.
Ways to feel stupid, #379
Walk around all day thinking that you are wearing two earrings, then notice when you look in the bathroom mirror that you are only wearing one. Realize that all of the people you have been talking to at the office for the past 5 hours probably think that you are either a.) reliving the 80s, b.) incredibly stupid, or c.) both. Feel sad, because you really liked those earrings. Heave large sigh and...
In which I put down the camera
…and pick up a pen. Well, keyboard.
Although Gawker allowed me to do one party writeup eons ago, most of the party coverage I’ve done over the past few years has involved my camera. However, the lovely folks at Guest of A Guest have given me the opportunity to do writeups instead, allowing me to talk to people as opposed to blinding them with my flash and running away. So here it is:...
I know who wears diabeetus. →
As promised, I made the diabeetus shirt. Oh yeah.
alexblagg:
9. Tumblr is cool for what it is, but if you have something to say that you truly believe to be profound or important, I would suggest saying it somewhere more deserving of such discourse. I doubt that Beethoven composed his best work in armpit farts (though I could very well be wrong about this)
Ol’ Ludwig may have stayed away from the armpit farts, but let me tell you,...
Movies that are not meant to be watched with your...
tylercoates:
(via everyone)
I SAW ELECTION WITH MY MOTHER IN THE THEATER.
I saw The Ice Storm. There is nothing more awkward/scarring than being 15 years old and having your mother explain to you what a key party is.
Dear Old Men,
I applaud you for making it to the gym before 7 in the morning (although if you’re anything like my grandparents, you went to bed at 8:30, woke up at 5:00 am, and are ready for lunch by 7 am, but I digress).
I was wondering if you could answer a question for me. Why must you insist on working out in jeans and a flannel button down? I understand that it’s cold out, but...
I dream of closets.
Whenever I am stressed out or frustrated by something, I close my eyes and envision a large white bedroom with minimalist furniture and a closet the length of my wall.
All my clothes hang on polished wooden hangers, organized impeccably by season and occasion. My formal dresses are covered individually in garment bags, each skirt and pair of pants has their own hanger.
The...
luxnightmare:
This vibrator is so fucking loud. It kills my buzz.
Was that intentionally punny? Because yay if so, and DOUBLE UNINTENTIONAL IRONY YAY if not.
My new web show!
I have the world’s worst gaydar. This is evidenced by the fact that I have not one, but TWO ex-boyfriends who are gay. I was just talking with Jolie about whether or not someone we thought was gay is actually straight, and I came up with a great idea for a web show:
Gay Or Not Gay? The World’s Shittiest Gaydar Judges The Sexually Ambiguous!
I know that technically, they’ve...
justsayjolie:
“I drink too much. I am glad we’re friends. I don’t need to feel as bad about myself for being such a fucking mess.”
— You guys, I’m such a disaster of a human being that The Antikris is calling me a disaster of a human being. I’m going to go look into suicide now, brb.
Would it make you feel better if I told you that you were in a three-way tie for my #1...
I know who has diabeetus!
dorothymantooth:
They give Wilford & me the diabeetus.
Oh, BEETUS! BEETUS! DIABEETUS! Best music video ever.
Every year, I go to El Dia Del Mustache, a party/mustache competition that Adam’s friends put on. Last year, I was working on a bunch of mustache-themed punny t-shirts for my friends and I to wear (El Dia…gram, El Dia…logue, El Dia…gonal, etc). I made the...
“I googled “venice pigeons” and had to stop because I am deathly...”
– Jolie
also
How come I didn’t know about FuckYeahRyanGosling?
He’s so dreamy. Sigh.
Really?
$60 for tickets to The Shorty Awards? People will actually pay that?
