“This phenomenon, known as the ‘Quarterlife Crisis,’ is as ubiquitous as it is intangible. Unrelenting indecision, isolation, confusion and anxiety about working, relationships and direction is reported by people in their mid-twenties to early thirties who are usually urban, middle class and well-educated; those who should be able to capitalize on their youth, unparalleled freedom and free-for-all individuation. They can’t make any decisions, because they don’t know what they want, and they don’t know what they want because they don’t know who they are, and they don’t know who they are because they’re allowed to be anyone they want.”

— Welcome to Your Quarterlife Crisis

(via megsnotplural x caro x spaceships x icopythat)

Over the past year or so, I experienced a lot of the symptoms of the Quarterlife Crisis. I didn’t really know what I wanted to do with my career, I wasn’t happy living in New York anymore, my mother got ill and I started having to be a caretaker instead of being caretaken, and things started going downhill with the person I originally thought I was going to marry. So I started making changes: I started taking responsibility for myself and others (and stopped expecting to be taken care of), I went for the job I wanted but never thought I’d get (I got it),  I got into grad school (whether I’m going or not is still up in the air), I ended my relationship (very painful, but the right thing to do), and I decided to pick up and move across the country (t-minus 2 weeks until I leave).

All of these things have been incredibly disruptive and difficult to go through, but I haven’t felt this good in a really long time. The move especially has been cathartic— I’ve been able to purge my life of all of this stuff— people and things— that I don’t need around anymore. I’m taking only what’s most important to me to the next stage of my life, and after getting over the initial shock of “oh my god, my life is completely different than it was 6 months ago and my comfort zones have all been erased”, I feel really calm and good about what I’ve done and what I’m doing.

The truth is, I needed all of those unpleasant feelings— the doubt, the ennui, the dissatisfaction— to motivate me to get up and do something about the things that were bothering me about myself and my life. Sure, I was a mess for a little while, but I learned a lot about myself in the process; what I want out of my career, my relationships, my life, myself. I’m a different person than I was a year ago, and while it was rough going through it, I’m grateful. I feel like I went from a spoiled kid who was playing at grown-up life to an adult who is taking responsibility for herself and her choices. Sure, I’m going to make mistakes along the way, but shaking everything up over the past few months is definitely not one of them.